About the book
‘What do you want me to say?’ asks Sinan Cankaya when he’s invited to speak at the 40-year anniversary of his former secondary school. The invitation creates an opening through which forgotten memories from his youth and time at secondary school begin to wriggle their way out. There is his former history teacher Nico Konst, who was once the second in command at the extreme-right Centrumpartij. As the day of the address approaches, it becomes clearer to him what he wants to say. He wants to be critical of the educational practices at home, on the street and in the mosque, of the Netherlands, of Turkish nationalism, of the anti-racism movement and racism denial. Nor does he spare himself. Reflecting on loyalty, displacement and, above all, the search for a home, Cantaya sets himself against clear-cut identities and refuses to a tell his story within the contours of his own body.