Oscar van den Boogaard – Child Soldier<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Dear Uncle Frans,<\/p>\n On my way home I thought some more about your plea to have the family toys restored to you in your old age. Instead of the Humpty Dumpty circus, the M\u00e4rklin train and the Prussian soldier, I now present you with the manuscript of our shared family history. No doubt it explains the anger that still sends you on the warpath at eighty.<\/p>\n Since we may never meet again, I would like you to know that as an artist (\u2018artiste\u2019, as your mother and sister say) and the dissident of the family, you have always been a shining example to me. That\u2019s why I forgive you for not having been in touch for over fifty years after my christening, even though you are technically my godfather. That a man needs to distance himself from the house of pain is something I understand only too well, but by drawing on all the imagination I can muster I would like to show you \u2013 and myself in the process \u2013 that it is also the house of love.<\/p>\n Tout \u00e0 vous<\/em>,<\/p>\n Maxwell<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n The Beginning<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Let us begin with the spring that, for inexplicable reasons, formed right here \u2013 and not somewhere else \u2013 among the oak and beech covered hills in the north of Dutch Limburg, in the marshland between the Meuse and a higher river terrace. The spring was so perfectly embedded between three rocks that its location seemed vital.<\/p>\n The rocks, which could never be moved by mortal hands, were known locally, that is to say by the villagers who had no business on the estate, as cyclops stones. In a distant past, it was said, a one-eyed giant had hurled them from the Alps in a fit of anger. Some had ended up at the mouth of the Geul near Aachen, but an excess of fury had sent these three a further one hundred kilometres to land in this perfect composition around the bubbling water.<\/p>\n What\u2019s disconcerting about the story of One Eye is the idea that rage put the finishing touches to paradise, as you might describe this place. Deer, wild boar, squirrels, birds and rabbits all shared the spring harmoniously with the residents of Metternich Castle, who had been having their bottles filled with the spring water for hundreds of years and who credited it with beneficial properties. They all seemed to belong to one and the same divine nature.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Because Metternich was situated in the border region between the Netherlands and Germany, it boasted both a Limburg and a Prussian gate. In their hearts the residents, who had only been officially on the Dutch side since the French period, still felt just as closely connected to the German hinterland.<\/p>\n And so it happened that one summer afternoon in 1884, the Prussian general Maximilian, who lived at a country estate just across the border, thought he would try his luck and bring his daughter along when he came to hunt at Metternich and introduce her to the lord of the castle\u2019s only son.<\/p>\n While the coach carried Hermine along the steep embankment through the marshes, her father\u2019s hand rested in her slender neck. She briefly allowed herself to lean her head back without a care, but at the boundary post her father withdrew his hand.<\/p>\n As they entered the Prussian gate and the corner turrets of Metternich came into view, she straightened up and tied her hair together.<\/p>\n \u2018Two kindred spirits,\u2019 Arnold remarked as his son Edmond and Hermine shook hands in the castle yard. It sounded less like an observation than an order.<\/p>\n \u2018Our young ones are far too sensitive for the hunt,\u2019 Maximilian noted.<\/p>\n The fathers slapped each other on the shoulder and walked across the castle moat with their rifles at the ready.<\/p>\n \u2018Weidmannheil<\/em>!\u2019 the son shouted after them, and received a two-part Weidmannheil<\/em> in response.<\/p>\n \u2018Why don\u2019t we go for a stroll,\u2019 Edmond proposed. \u2018But let\u2019s take a look at the swans in the moat first.\u2019<\/p>\n In a language that hovered between Dutch and German, Hermine talked about her previous visit to Metternich some years previously. On the Feast of the Assumption, the Virgin Mary was taken out of the private chapel and carried in procession around the estate under a blue velvet canopy. \u2018I was one of the hundred girls in white dresses with flowers in their hair,\u2019 she said modestly.<\/p>\n \u2018And I was one of the hundred boys holding up a candle.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018We didn\u2019t notice each other.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018I did see you,\u2019 Edmond said. \u2018All these years I\u2019ve been thinking: when will the Prussian girl with the reddish-blonde hair come back?\u2019<\/p>\n Hermine laughed shyly.<\/p>\n \u2018Then he asked: \u2018What do you do with your life?\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018My life,\u2019 she said in surprise. \u2018My life hasn\u2019t even started yet.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018What do you mean?\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m still at school with the nuns in Maastricht. How about you\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m studying law in Leiden.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018So you don\u2019t have much time either.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Not really.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018But wait,\u2019 she said as she came to a halt. \u2018If I don\u2019t have time and you don\u2019t have time, what are we doing here?\u2019<\/p>\n Edmond looked at her mysterious smile.<\/p>\n \u2018This must be the most foolish conversation two people have ever had,\u2019 she exclaimed.<\/p>\n \u2018In that case we deserve a prize,\u2019 Edmond chuckled.<\/p>\n \u2018The gold cup for most foolish conversation.\u2019<\/p>\n They walked through the English garden and by the water mill they took the path up.<\/p>\n \u2018What\u2019s black-and-white, black-and-white, black-and-white, black-and-white?\u2019 Edmond asked.<\/p>\n \u2018No idea.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018A nun tumbling down the stairs.\u2019<\/p>\n Hermine\u2019s body went limp with laughter. \u2018I\u2019d like to push them all down the stairs.\u2019<\/p>\n Edmond jokingly threw himself to the ground, as though she had just shoved him. While letting the sand run through his fingers, he said, \u2018This is old soil, truly old soil.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Older than our family trees, you mean?\u2019 she asked.<\/p>\n \u2018And older than the country borders.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Even older than the Old Testament?\u2019<\/p>\n Edmond explained that in the clay pits researchers had discovered fossils of animals and plants that had lived here in a warm and humid climate two million years ago. Prints of large deer, mammoths, mastodons, rhinoceroses, hyenas, bears and panthers. \u2018Not far from the spring, they even found the lower mandible of a monkey,\u2019 Edmond said.<\/p>\n \u2018Must be one of your ancestors,\u2019 she teased him.<\/p>\n Edmond walked down the hillock and Hermine followed. They sat down on the rocks and watched the bubbling water.<\/p>\n \u2018Did you know that this water travels for a hundred years before it rises to the surface?\u2019 Edmond asked.<\/p>\n She found his sense of wonder endearing.<\/p>\n \u2018Why does a spring emerge?\u2019 she asked dreamily.<\/p>\n \u2018Sheer enthusiasm,\u2019 Edmond exclaimed. \u2018Because it doesn\u2019t know how else to express its joy.\u2019<\/p>\n Edmond leaned forward and cupped his hands together. Hermine drank from them like a thirsty roe deer.<\/p>\n At that moment a shot rang out in the distance, echoing among the hills. Edmond placed his hand on her back.<\/p>\n \u2018Edmond,\u2019 she said. \u2018You\u2019re der<\/em> Mond<\/em>.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018The moon?\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Yes, you\u2019re soft and gentle,\u2019 she said, \u2018and you have a side you\u2019re not showing.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Later, during the hunt dinner, they both sat staring at their napkins.<\/p>\n They had been so far away together.<\/p>\n \u2018Attaquer<\/em>,\u2019 Hermine heard her father shout as though he was on the battlefield.<\/p>\n As the talking, rattling of glassware and clanging of cutlery faded into the background, they fell in love \u2013 it was the force of gravity.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n [90-96]<\/em><\/p>\n Paris<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Excited and exhausted, they arrived in front of Uncle Eug\u00e8ne\u2019s house on a large boulevard with plane trees. As he pressed the doorbell, Nol said, \u2018Want to bet nobody\u2019s home?\u2019<\/p>\n Perhaps all three of them were entertaining this hope, so they could stay out. Paris was one big living room.<\/p>\n A butler answered the door and performed a deep bow with a hand on his heart. On behalf of the envoy he apologised that nobody had met them at the station. Given the political situation, Eug\u00e8ne had had to rush to the Netherlands to convene with the cabinet and the Queen. \u2018But he has instructed us to give you a royal welcome.\u2019<\/p>\n A servant took their suitcases and carried them upstairs in a lift.<\/p>\n \u2018It\u2019s first-class spick-and-span,\u2019 Nora said as they checked out each other\u2019s rooms.<\/p>\n \u2018What do you mean by that?\u2019 Nol asked.<\/p>\n \u2018That\u2019s what my mother always says when everything\u2019s very posh.\u2019<\/p>\n Having freshened up, they went downstairs. A table had been set for three. Wine was poured into coloured glasses. There was a telephone call for Nora.<\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m not amused,\u2019 her mother yelled. \u2018Leaving such young people to their own devices.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018He had to speak with the Queen.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Who matters more, for heaven\u2019s sake? No wonder his wife left him. And for a racing driver, too!\u2019<\/p>\n To be honest, Nora was pleased that Uncle Eug\u00e8ne was away. She\u2019d met him once. A morose old man with a beard. Page of honour to the Queen, but deeply unhappy.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n On the mantelpiece in the salon, beside a small vase with anemones, stood a photo of a blonde girl. Her eyes seemed to contain all the suffering in the world.<\/p>\n \u2018Do you think she\u2019s beautiful? Nol asked Max, who was looking at her closely, but didn\u2019t seem to hear the question.<\/p>\n \u2018That means he thinks she\u2019s gorgeous,\u2019 Nora concluded.<\/p>\n A chambermaid entered and changed the vase on the mantel for a new one, with fresh anemones, before crossing herself.<\/p>\n \u2018But they\u2019re still fine,\u2019 Max said in surprise.<\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019ve been instructed to replace them every day,\u2019 she said and left the room.<\/p>\n \u2018She\u2019s dead,\u2019 Max said.<\/p>\n \u2018Children die too,\u2019 Nora said, stoically.<\/p>\n \u2018Oh bright flowering anemones,\u2019 Nol sang in a broken voice. \u2018The stars sink down into the waves, dousing in my heart the ling\u2019ring strains.\u2019<\/p>\n Nora walked over to the drinks cabinet and poured sherry into three glasses. \u2018When the cat\u2019s away,\u2019 she said laughing.<\/p>\n Nol took three cigarettes from the silver case and lit them one by one with the table lighter.<\/p>\n \u2018Where did you pick that up? Nora asked.<\/p>\n \u2018Same place you two picked it up,\u2019 Nol replied.<\/p>\n Nora asked the boys to stand in front of the large mirror. Side by side. To look into their own eyes first, then at each other in the mirror.<\/p>\n \u2018What are you getting at?\u2019 Nol asked.<\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m curious to see how twins look at themselves,\u2019 Nora said. \u2018I\u2019m always alone.\u2019<\/p>\n Drinking and smoking, they sat on the sofa together as if they were grownups. And strangely enough they were, except they weren\u2019t used to it yet.<\/p>\n \u2018So you\u2019re the ambassador,\u2019 Nol said to Max. \u2018And you\u2019re his wife,\u2019 he said to Nora.<\/p>\n \u2018No, I\u2019m his girlfriend. The ambassador got divorced recently.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018That almost sounds like he\u2019s a widower, don\u2019t you think?\u2019 Nol said.<\/p>\n \u2018A widower with a girlfriend is only half as sad,\u2019 Max observed.<\/p>\n Nora got up and sat on Max\u2019s lap.<\/p>\n \u2018We met at a dance hall,\u2019 she said.<\/p>\n \u2018So you can dance,\u2019 Nol exclaimed. \u2018That means it\u2019s time for music.\u2019 He walked over to the gramophone and lowered the needle onto the record. It was marching music.<\/p>\n \u2018Venez danser<\/em>,\u2019 Nol shouted and clapped his hands.<\/p>\n And Max and Nora started dancing. What Max was doing looked more like marching, while Nora fluttered in and among his lumbering steps like a butterfly.<\/p>\n \u2018Loosen up, Max,\u2019 Nol yelled as he lit another cigarette.<\/p>\n \u2018Aren\u2019t you smoking too much?\u2019 Nora wondered.<\/p>\n \u2018In Paris people smoke constantly,\u2019 he said, still slumped on the sofa.<\/p>\n Nora refilled their glasses. Meanwhile, Max lit two cigarettes.<\/p>\n \u2018And now the married couple kiss on the mouth,\u2019 Nol said.<\/p>\n \u2018We\u2019re boyfriend and girlfriend!\u2019 Max noted.<\/p>\n Nora fleetingly pressed her mouth on Max\u2019s.<\/p>\n \u2018More passion, please,\u2019 Nol said.<\/p>\n Max let go.<\/p>\n \u2018Kiss!\u2019 Nol yelled indignantly.<\/p>\n Max marched around the coffee table. Still smoking and drinking, a giggly Nora followed suit.<\/p>\n \u2018You two must kiss!\u2019 Nol shouted.<\/p>\n Nora chased Max around the table. Predator Nora grabbed his waist. She pressed her mouth on his, and then that was their first proper kiss.<\/p>\n Max asked Nol, \u2018Don\u2019t you want to dance?\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018No, I\u2019ve got a good view from where I\u2019m sitting.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Come, dance with me,\u2019 Nora begged.<\/p>\n But Nol didn\u2019t want to.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Afterwards they went for an evening stroll along the boulevards. They ended up in a caf\u00e9 where they ordered red wine. Max fell asleep with his head in his arms, while Nol sat dozing, slumped in his seat. Nora lit a cigarette and began her game.<\/p>\n \u2018And who are you? asked a young man who sat with friends at the neighbouring table.<\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m Nora.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018What beautiful eyes Nora has,\u2019 he said. \u2018And who are they?\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018They\u2019re my brothers,\u2019 she replied.<\/p>\n He offered her a glass and drew her portrait on a notepad. Her face seemed to come alive under his pencil. When he tried to take her hand, Nora woke the two boys. Nol wrapped a protective arm around her.<\/p>\n The young man ordered glasses for the boys before returning to his friends. Nora slipped the drawing into her Baedeker to keep it for the rest of her life.<\/p>\n Next to them, there was talk of the war. The young man was busy sketching Europe. Animatedly, he drew a few arrows pointing in each other\u2019s direction. He crosshatched Holland and Belgium.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n When Nora appeared washed and dressed at the breakfast table the following morning, Nol said, \u2018Here\u2019s Juillet looking shipshape. Did you sleep well?\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Juillet had a terrible dream,\u2019 Nora replied. \u2018She had to resit all of her exams.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Have an egg,\u2019 Max said, as he decapitated his own with a knife.<\/p>\n \u2018I don\u2019t have much of an appetite, actually,\u2019 Nora said.<\/p>\n \u2018You should eat properly, because it\u2019s going to be a long day,\u2019 Max said.<\/p>\n All three were nervous, because how do you tackle a metropolis?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n They were standing in front of the H\u00f4tel des Invalides with their travel guide open. The Sun King\u2019s military complex was so big it made their heads spin.<\/p>\n \u2018I want to see Napoleon\u2019s grave,\u2019 Max said impatiently.<\/p>\n \u2018We can go there tomorrow,\u2019 Nol said. \u2018We\u2019ve got all the time in the world.\u2019<\/p>\n That was just the thing Nol would say, Nora thought to herself. All the time in the world. What exactly did that mean?<\/p>\n Perhaps he meant: pretend as though you\u2019ve got all the time in the world, because knowing that you don\u2019t would make you feel rushed. You\u2019d run rather than walk and end up seeing nothing.<\/p>\n \u2018Rousseau thought horses were too fast, which is why he preferred to walk,\u2019 Nol said, as if he had read Nora\u2019s mind.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n They were not used to having time. Unlike in the old days, when they were children and would wander endlessly around Metternich.<\/p>\n Max wanted to see the boats in the park. They hired three toy sailboats and put them in the pond. There was something soothing about the way they bobbed up and down. The wait for a breath of wind.<\/p>\n They spent hours walking along the Seine, and when Nora was ready to drop she sat down against the embankment in the shade. Nol sat beside her, his legs outstretched. He pulled a baguette out of a bag, peeled some greaseproof paper off a chunk of cheese and then took out the bottle of wine they\u2019d had uncorked in the shop. Max was sitting nearby, with his feet in the water.<\/p>\n Nol handed the bottle to Nora, who took a sip and passed it back to Nol. She closed her eyes, dozing off for a bit, and when she opened them again Nol was watching her with a tender look in his eyes. Max was still sitting by the water, stripped to the waist, with his back to them, dangling his legs.<\/p>\n Max uttered a cry and pointed up. A zeppelin floated over Paris. The first zeppelin of their lives. Patiently they watched it drifting past, infinitely slowly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n They sauntered along the grand boulevards, like seasoned fl\u00e2neurs. Nol said, \u2018We\u2019re reading the city.\u2019 Nora found it a beautiful thought. Reading the city like a book. A love story. At times all three of them giggled like young girls. Kissing Max was getting easier and easier. And Nol didn\u2019t mind. \u2018It stays in the family,\u2019 he said. Max also plucked up the courage to place his hands on her breasts.<\/p>\n One evening Nol exclaimed, \u2018You two are so childish!\u2019<\/p>\n Nora looked at him, shocked, even though it was the encouragement she really craved. They\u2019d been kissing so much that lying on top of each other would be the obvious next step in the near future.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n [<\/em>390-394]<\/em><\/p>\n Gipfeltreffen<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u2018This is a meeting at the highest level,\u2019 Bernhard said with a serious look on his face as he came and stood next to her.<\/p>\n \u2018A Gipfeltreffen<\/em>,\u2019 Elsie said. \u2018A summit between two strangers.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018A Herrschertreffen<\/em>,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n Elsie laughed. \u2018I\u2019m not a ruler.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018But you\u2019re strict.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018What makes you think that?\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Because you didn\u2019t wait for me down below.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018I thought you were already at the top.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019ve only just met you and I already miss you,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019d wanted to take the lift with you.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018We\u2019ll be taking lots of lifts,\u2019 Elsie said.<\/p>\n The prince looked at her in surprise.<\/p>\n \u2018I mean, we came here to ski, right?\u2019 Elsie replied.<\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m glad you look at it that way.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Do you have a cigarette for me?\u2019 Elsie asked.<\/p>\n The prince opened his jacket, pulled his pipe from his inside pocket and held it up in front of her.<\/p>\n \u2018I always carry my Dunhill with me.<\/p>\n \u2018It\u2019s better than nothing.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Are you a pipe smoker?\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019ll smoke anything.\u2019<\/p>\n The prince handed her the pipe and pulled a tin from his pocket. \u2018Hold it carefully,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n He screwed open the tin and filled the pipe with tobacco. He tamped it down with his thumb. He put the pipe in his mouth and tucked the tin away.<\/p>\n He produced a matchbox, struck a match and skilfully lit the pipe. When he drew on it with his pursed mouth, his face disappeared in a cloud of smoke.<\/p>\n He took a Swiss army knife from his pocket and tamped the pipe again. After a few drags he handed the pipe to Elsie. She took a puff.<\/p>\n \u2018Does your fianc\u00e9 smoke?\u2019 Bernhard asked.<\/p>\n \u2018I don\u2019t have a fianc\u00e9,\u2019 Elsie replied.<\/p>\n \u2018How\u2019s it possible that you don\u2019t have a fianc\u00e9?\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019ve had a few in the past.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018A few. Are you that demanding?\u2019<\/p>\n Elsie took another puff and handed the pipe back to Bernhard.<\/p>\n \u2018Look at us standing here.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018On top of the black piste,\u2019 Elsie said.<\/p>\n \u2018Lula told me you had a Swiss lover who had his own mountain.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Do you share everything with each other?\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018She does with me.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018But not the other way around.\u2019<\/p>\n He laughed to himself.<\/p>\n \u2018I taste chocolate,\u2019 she said.<\/p>\n \u2018Liquorice for me,\u2019 Bernhard said.<\/p>\n \u2018Chocolate,\u2019 Elsie shouted with her hands around her mouth.<\/p>\n \u2018Liquorice,\u2019 Bernhard yelled.<\/p>\n \u2018I used to have a photo of you above my bed,\u2019 Elsie said.<\/p>\n \u2018It wasn\u2019t a photo.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Yes it was.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018I was me. I was watching you.\u2019<\/p>\n Elsie laughed.<\/p>\n \u2018And when you were asleep, I stepped out of the frame and snuggled up against you.\u2019<\/p>\n What a lovely man, Elsie thought to herself. She was missing him already, even though the pipe was still far from finished.<\/p>\n \u2018Why did you remove the photo?\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018I didn\u2019t remove it.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018What did your fianc\u00e9s say?\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018They never set foot in my bedroom.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018How chaste you are.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Who says I didn\u2019t set foot in theirs?\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018The idea alone is making me jealous,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n Look at me, papa, Elsie thought. Your daughter is standing on top of the mountain, next to the prince. Like a couple on a wedding cake.<\/p>\n \u2018Did your father smoke?\u2019 Bernhard asked.<\/p>\n \u2018No,\u2019 Elsie answered, \u2018but how kind of you to ask after my father. I was just thinking about him.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Is he no longer with us?\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018He died in a bombing raid during the war.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018The Krauts?\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018The Allied Forces.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Their aim wasn\u2019t always very precise.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018But they liberated us.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018What about your mother?\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Let\u2019s talk about us<\/em>,\u2019 Elsie said and took another puff.<\/p>\n \u2018Anything we say will stay between you and me,\u2019 the prince said, \u2018in our tunnel for two.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018A tunnel for two,\u2019 Elsie repeated.<\/p>\n \u2018Above the tree line and below freezing, different laws apply,\u2019 Bernhard whispered.<\/p>\n \u2018Those of enchantment?\u2019 Elsie suggested.<\/p>\n \u2018The word \u2018enchantment\u2019 lingered around them as they stared at the mountain tops in silence.<\/p>\n Bernhard pointed. \u2018The Parseierspitze is over three thousand metres high. And that one there is the Eisenspitze. That\u2019s the Dawinkopf. Do you like hiking?\u2019<\/p>\n Elsie shrugged her shoulders, laughing.<\/p>\n \u2018There\u2019s a lovely trail across a glacier that takes you to the top of the mountain. It\u2019s a long and strenuous route, but halfway up the Parseierscharte is an old emergency shelter with two beds. We could spend the night together there.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Are we allowed to stay away that long?\u2019 Elsie asked.<\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m in control of my own life; I hope you are too.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Of your life?\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018No, your own.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Yes, of course I am.\u2019<\/p>\n Elsie loved his German accent. It reminded her of her Uncle Max, but Bernhard had stopped talking and was now looking at her.<\/p>\n \u2018You\u2019re a truly remarkable woman, do you know that?\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018I am, but for an entirely different reason than you think.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Now I\u2019m curious.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Let\u2019s go ski.\u2019<\/p>\n He knocked out the pipe in the snow. The smouldering tobacco bored a deep black hole. Below them, the slopes stretched out, steep and hazardous.<\/p>\n \u2018Shall we do it or not?\u2019 Bernhard asked.<\/p>\n \u2018Let\u2019s do it.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018There\u2019ll be no way back.\u2019<\/p>\n She put on her ski goggles, bent her knees and stabbed her poles in the snow. She\u2019d surrender to the force of gravity, in graceful twists and turns, or was it the force of attraction?<\/p>\n \u2018You go first,\u2019 she shouted.<\/p>\n Bernhard pushed off and whizzed down. She followed his slaloming moves, which with each bend broke loose from his regular duties \u2013 and in doing so cut herself loose from her own duties too. Together they\u2019d ski themselves free, while his wife had opted for a slope that was less steep, less black, less a matter gravity or attraction.<\/p>\n Elsie was already sad because she knew that for the rest of her life she\u2019d be bored with any other man.<\/p>\n Down below the village loomed up. The duties. The separate rooms. The place where they\u2019d have to say goodbye. But not yet.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n [437-440]<\/em><\/p>\n The flight<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n On a cloudless day he came to pick her up, in a shiny American car. First, he pulled over in front of the church to kiss and caress her. Then they drove out of town.<\/p>\n \u201cThree guesses where we\u2019re going,\u201d PB said.<\/p>\n \u201cTo Mutti\u2019s,\u201d Elsie whispered.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, if that\u2019s what you\u2019d like,\u201d he said with a mysterious smile.<\/p>\n They drove east across the rolling hills of the Veluwe, sunlight flickering through the trees. Elsie didn\u2019t really feel like going to Mutti, she wanted PB all to herself. But close to Apeldoorn they left the main road and halted at the edge of an airfield.<\/p>\n His arrival here, to fetch his wife and daughters when they set foot again on Dutch soil a few months after the war, that was a part of collective memory. His free and easy life had been over then, no, he went on gaily living that free and easy life.<\/p>\n A little plane was standing ready for them. He hadn\u2019t even asked whether she was afraid of flying. At this moment, Elsie wanted nothing more than to crash to earth, together with him.<\/p>\n A man who can fly, she rhapsodized as they lifted off the ground. He was handsome in his dark aviator glasses and headphones. She had the map of the Netherlands on her lap. Would anyone believe her when she told them about it this evening? Maybe she wouldn\u2019t even believe it herself.<\/p>\n \u201cFirst we\u2019ll swing past the ice palace,\u201d the prince shouted, \u201cgive my mother-in-law a little fright,\u201d and within minutes they were flowing low over Het Loo palace.<\/p>\n \u201cShe\u2019s cold and lonely, but she\u2019s not alone!\u201d the prince shouted.<\/p>\n \u201cHave you read Lonely But Not Alone<\/em>?\u201d Elsie asked.<\/p>\n \u201cI pretended to once,\u201d he shouted back.<\/p>\n \u201cI actually did.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd what did Wilhelmina have to say about me?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know for a fact that that was the first thing you checked yourself, you vain thing,\u201d Elsie shouted, and kissed him on the side of the neck.<\/p>\n \u201cLook, her convertible\u2019s parked at the door,\u201d PB shouted, \u201cmaybe she\u2019s going out for a spin. Let\u2019s beat it!\u201d<\/p>\n And then they were flying over the hulking Juliana Tower, \u201cthe highest point in Gelderland province,\u201d he shouted. She saw the little motorboats and the haunted house where she\u2019d played as a child, \u201cand there, at the bottom of that hummock, is the Prince Bernhard Valley.\u201d Amid the pine trees lay the restaurant and the playground with the whirligig. She remembered how sinister she\u2019d found the place. Maybe because her father wasn\u2019t allowed on any of the rides. He was the one who taught her that these were pine trees.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere are we going now?\u201d Elsie shouted.<\/p>\n \u201cNow it\u2019s Mammie\u2019s turn,\u201d he shouted as they banked and flew west across outstretched forests and heaths.<\/p>\n \u201cShe\u2019s not your mammie,\u201d Elsie shouted back.<\/p>\n \u201cDie heisse Zitrone<\/em>!\u201d he shrieked with laughter.<\/p>\n They flew over Soestdijk Palace, where the poodles pranced on the lawn and the gardeners were doing their mowing.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere\u2019s Mammie?\u201d he shouted, peering down.<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t you have a bomb on board?\u201d Elsie asked.<\/p>\n \u201cYou want me to use it?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI was only kidding.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBombs away!\u201d he shouted. He placed a hand on her knee, made a tight turn around the palace and banked up sharply.<\/p>\n For a few minutes, as they drilled their way into the sky, Elsie was intensely happy. The bird had lifted her on its wings, and showed her that life could be of a different order. A higher order, far above the happy people down there, waving their Dutch tricolors at roadside as the queen and the crown prince rode past. Grateful that they, as subjects, could be a part of their happiness. But couldn\u2019t they see that this family wasn\u2019t happy at all? They were a part of its misery.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you still have a few left?\u201d Elsie shouted. \u201cThen drop them, fast!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m pushing my button right now!\u201d the prince shouted.<\/p>\n Elsie screamed with excitement.<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019re perverse!\u201d PB shouted.<\/p>\n She loved that word, even though she couldn\u2019t exactly define it. It bore the scent of freedom.<\/p>\n The freedom that had to be wrested back from everything that was honorable, chaste, moral, obedient and \u201ccorrect\u201d.<\/p>\n That\u2019s the way PB had always been. His elusiveness was the perfect uniform in which to preserve his freedom, and that body beneath it was freedom itself.<\/p>\n \u201cOne more bomb?\u201d he shouted.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, that\u2019s enough,\u201d Elsie said.<\/p>\n \u201cIf you act like such a goody-goody, you\u2019re going to start boring me.\u201d<\/p>\n Elsie closed her eyes and felt his hand on her breasts.<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ve got the time,\u201d PB shouted, \u201cwhere do you want to go?\u201d<\/p>\n Elsie kept her finger on a spot on the map.<\/p>\n And suddenly they were above the clouds and everything was gentle and sweet, his hand lay quietly in her lap, and it was good that way.<\/p>\n They dove through a cloud and there beneath them writhed the Meuse and to the west of that lay Venlo, and further south was Villa Flora and a little further along Metternich, she recognized it by the two big archways, the old mineral water plant.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s where it all started,\u201d she said. \u201cAnd there, at the end of that little road is the hunting lodge where my great-grandfather lived with his children\u2019s governess, when he was an old man. And over there, to the east, close to that lake, is where Maximilian lived, the general who actually held the banner for the first German emperor in the Hall of Mirrors at Versailles.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s go and say hello to him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut you\u2019re flying over Germany, are you allowed to do that?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m a German.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWon\u2019t they send fighter planes to stop us?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOf course not, I\u2019m the prince.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen can\u2019t we just fly on to the house where you were born? Show me your playroom.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re the one who wanted to go to Mutti,\u201d the prince shouted and swung north in a heavenly curve that made the pit of her stomach tingle. They followed the Meuse to Nijmegen and flew over Arnhem.<\/p>\n \u201cOperation Market Garden!\u201d the prince shouted when they passed the bridge the Allies had been unable to take during their offensive.<\/p>\n The plane lost altitude and there, below them, amid the geometrical gardens, lay Mutti\u2019s castle. When the plane buzzed over, she rushed outside and waved her arms.<\/p>\n \u201cHow does she know it\u2019s you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMothers always know that kind of thing,\u201d he shouted as he waved.<\/p>\n Alexis came out too, crossed the little bridge and waved.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat a darling couple,\u201d Elsie said.<\/p>\n \u201cNot nearly as darling as we are,\u201d PB shouted fervently as they headed straight into the setting sun. The cockpit looked like it was on fire. On our way to hell, Elsie thought.<\/p>\n They landed at the spot where they had taken off. To have both feet on the ground again was a disillusionment.<\/p>\n PB was hurried and tense. He drove fast, holding her hand in his. They did not stop at some quiet spot. She didn\u2019t ask when they would see each other again. Because she didn\u2019t want to encroach on his freedom.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n [579]<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Oscar van den Boogaard – Child Soldier Dear Uncle Frans, On my way home I thought some more about your plea to have the family toys restored to you in your old age. Instead of the Humpty Dumpty circus, the M\u00e4rklin train and the Prussian soldier, I now present you with the manuscript of…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1135,"featured_media":0,"parent":32464,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-32476","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/foreignrights.debezigebij.nl\/wpg-api\/wp\/v2\/pages\/32476","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/foreignrights.debezigebij.nl\/wpg-api\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/foreignrights.debezigebij.nl\/wpg-api\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foreignrights.debezigebij.nl\/wpg-api\/wp\/v2\/users\/1135"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foreignrights.debezigebij.nl\/wpg-api\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=32476"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/foreignrights.debezigebij.nl\/wpg-api\/wp\/v2\/pages\/32476\/revisions"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foreignrights.debezigebij.nl\/wpg-api\/wp\/v2\/pages\/32464"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/foreignrights.debezigebij.nl\/wpg-api\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=32476"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}\n